Friday, January 25, 2013

Divorce

One of the favorite things I have found that non-believers and some Christians will use against each other when comparing lives is divorce.

Your a Christian but you are divorced, how is that? Isn't divorce a sin? Aren't you committing Biblical adultery by being remarried?

The divorce rate for the first marriage in America is 41%. (Courtesy of divorcerate.com) There are stats on there for second and third marriage, but this argument is based on the premise of the first divorce causing the sin, so that is where I will focus. 

Jesus says in the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew 5:31-32, 

 “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Which is where Christ says it is that we should divorce for adultery, but 1 Corinthians 7:12-13 also gives us a different reason that I feel it is acceptable.
To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her.If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him.

These scriptures say if you are married to an unbeliever who consents to to stay with you, you should remain married. The key phrasing here is "consents to live with", if they do not consent to live with you then, I feel,  God is not going to hold a divorce in violation of His laws. These scriptures, along with a few others also show other legitimate reasons for divorce, such as spouse abuse. There is reason to ever hit your husband or wife and abusing them in clear violation of God's law and repeatedly doing it show's someone who is not a true believer or follower of God's laws related to marriage. 

Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

2 Timothy 3:1-8 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty.  For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,  heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good,  treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,  having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.  For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth.  Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so these men also oppose the truth, men corrupted in mind and disqualified regarding the faith.

James 1:19-20 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

Colossians 3:18-21 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

These scriptures tell us that husbands and wives are to be respectful to each other, abuse of any kind is anything but respectful. 2 Timothy tells us to avoid such people, if God expects us to avoid this type of person how can assume He wants us to stay in a marriage with someone like this who will not change their ways. 

Divorce is another subject that Christians need to study and devote time to. Even if we never intend on getting divorced, you never know what will happen or who will come needing advice. 

I am on my second and final marriage. My divorce in the first marriage was unquestionably Biblically legal and my wife now is an amazing woman whom I would be lost without and I look forward to giving her the rest of my life.

With the reduction of God in our country that we are experiencing, we are seeing more and more people seeing divorce is just a step that is easier than working through in a marriage. It is not this, divorce is serious because it is not only breaking a sacred promise between husband and wife, but it is our way of dissolving that Godly union where two become one in God's eyes and we do not have the authority to break that because we are bored with this person, or we are at a struggle point with finances, etc. 

God will permit divorces, but it has to be a result of a direct disregard or violation of one of His laws of marriage and love.